Should you start over ?

Do you ever had that one dream that was there somewhere in your head and which you never gave a shot to because your studies were already over and you were comfortable at your job? Or just because you were doing so well in your comfort zone that you were telling yourself that « maybe next year » and that next year morphed into a « next two years », « next five years » ? Or also because your friends and family – or even yourself – were telling you that you need to focus on your career and your adult life, and that these dreams of yours are not the priority right now ?

I am asking you all these questions because I have been stuck over the years in the three situations I just mentioned. Raised with ambitious and elitist mentality, I studied engineering and then marketing to fit into the perfect example of the successful independent woman of the 21th century. I was taught that thinking outside of the box wasn’t for me and that I should just follow the path that my parents draw for me. And I followed that path, I studied hard and got a well paid office job, and everyone was proud of me: expect myself.

I wasn’t satisfied enough from what I had, because what I had wasn’t what I really wanted from life. I always had that daily reminder telling me : but what if ? What if you make your own choices ? What if you take risks ? What if instead of dreaming, you make that a reality ?

I had that one dream of creating emotions through cinema and video advertisement. I always have been a passionate person who is driven by her emotions and that is how I make my choices in life. But when it came to my studies, to my job, I was so scared of failing and scared of that « I told you so » look my parents would give me that I just shutted down all the possibilities of exploring life and by doing so, my chances of happiness.

After graduating from a master in Digital Marketing, I had the chance to find a job in a communication agency where I had the opportunity to work with video producers, and that’s when it hit me: I was made for this ! It was meant for me, all of it. I usually get bored after a 5min marketing presentation, but I could stay up for hours when it came to video editing. I have learned a lot during my time there. But still, I couldn’t stop feeling frustrated from the lack of skills I had and from all I could have learned if I studied in the right field in the first place.

After I realized all that, I had some thoughts about going back to university to learn what I was really made for, but even then, I realized that I wasn’t ready to give up my job and my comfort zone. I thought « maybe one day, but not now ». I was almost ready to settle for endless marketing tasks when I could see my colleagues from the production team going on video shoots and I wanted to join them so badly. And then one day, after some unfortunate events – that you can read right here – I lost my job. After this tweest of faith, I started wondering: what if I make this my opportunity ?

I started doing some research on universities, on the field of studies that could be a perfect fit for me, and I gathered all the bravery that I could gather to tell my parents that this is it: at 25 years old, I want to go back to school and study CINEMA. And what was my surprise when they told me that it was actually a great idea !

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that sometimes you just need a little push from life, from your family, friends, or even yourself to reach that special goal or dream that you have been holding on for too long. Also, what I learned from this experience is that you shouldn’t regret anything you did in the past, because even if my studies weren’t a perfect fit for me, I still learned a lot and I wouldn’t be the person that I am today if I didn’t go through all that. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE ! There is no such thing as « it’s too late for me », as « i’m too old for this » or « this is too risky », you just need to believe in yourself. And not finding your way right now doesn’t mean you never will.

Today I’m proud to say that I’m starting this new adventure of studying this completely new field at #UniversitédeMontréal to fulfill my passionate heart.

New year, new challenges, and always learning !

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